Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Win to Lose or Lose to Win? (during MBA group assignments)

(P.S: This post is related to my experience during the Fall 2010 term, not the Spring/Summer 2011 term :)

Where there are different ideas, there are bound to be conflicts.

MBA has a LOT of group work. Different members have different personalities, backgrounds, prejudices, experiences and energy levels. It is not easy to pull all forces together and work in harmony all the time.

This is what I have learnt over time: It is better to lose to win, rather than win to lose.

What I mean by this is the "win an argument, lose a friend" idea mentioned by Dale Carnegie.
Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why argue with him? You can't win an argument, because if you lose, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior, you hurt his pride, insult his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect, and he'll resent your triumph. That will make him strike back, but it will never make him want to change his mind. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. 
- Dale Carnegie, "How to win friends & influence people"

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